Free PDF Remembering Whitney: My Story of Love, Loss, and the Night the Music Stopped
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Remembering Whitney: My Story of Love, Loss, and the Night the Music Stopped
Free PDF Remembering Whitney: My Story of Love, Loss, and the Night the Music Stopped
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 7 hours and 54 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: HarperAudio
Audible.com Release Date: January 29, 2013
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B00AZMGGAQ
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
I enjoyed this book. It was worth the read. I felt like I was sitting at the family's dinner table at times, understanding Whitney's upbringing and family dynamics as an adult. I have watched many of Whitney's interviews and followed her story, so there wasn't a ton of new information, but to hear it from a mother's perspective was worthwhile.What I did not like: Cissy consistently describes herself as strong, tough and Whitney as... well, basically the opposite. I didn't think that was fair. In fact, if I were Whitney reading this from heaven, that would really piss me off. Cissy talked about how Whitney didn't really go through anything as a kid. Yes, she did. She was bullied - actually quite badly and often! Cissy talks about Whitney's brothers stepping in when a group of kids were gathered outside their home waiting to beat Whitney up - one of Whitney's brothers basically said - "Whitney will fight any one of you, but if you win, I will kick your ass." Cissy talks about these displays of family support as coddling, enabling behaviors that didn't help Whitney grow strong. I don't know if she thinks the family should've ignored what Whitney was going through. Any way you look at it, the insight she has into the past is minimal.The truth is Cissy didn't know how to be there for Whitney emotionally and she didn't know what healthy family support looked like. Whitney learned when she was being bullied not to go to her mom with her problems. Cissy's own upbringing never included anyone asking her how she felt...about her mother's stroke, and then her death, her dad's remarriage...quite probably every other event in the Huston family. Her saving grace was God's intervention on her life.Whitney did not need her mom to die at a young age like Cissy's did to learn strength. You don't need to be poor growing up or have a unlikeable stepmom to learn how to be strong. No, Whitney needed to be taught how to talk about her pain. she needed to be taught how to handle pain and work through tough circumstances. Whitney did not die because she was coddled or didn't experience enough tragedy to become strong. The sad outcome may have been the same for Whitney even if her family knew how to support her. But If anything - her early death came as a result of denial and avoidance patterns in the family system.Sadly, one of the biggest stressors Whitney experienced right before leaving home was her parents' constant shouting matches. From Cissy's own words, Whitney was very distressed about their fighting and ultimately, her dad moving out. Cissy and John put their marital strife in full display, but Cissy makes it clear she never talked about what was going on with Whitney because her marriage was "her business." So you can yell and fight in front of her, but you can't have an adult conversation with her about the tension and pain going on in the home... because THAT is private?! This is where Whitney learned her destructive emotional habits! When I read Cissy saying Whitney never went through anything hard, I say Cissy never knew Whitney then. Whitney's life tells a very different story.Cissy's love for her daughter was the love of a mother - the unconditional kind. But she didn't know how to be there for Whitney and she never figured it out.
This was an easy read. Learned more about Cissy Houston rather than Whitney. Seems there was a lot of denial as Whitney struggled with drug use. All three children seemed to be in some sort of pain as they all turned to drugs to get through life. A true tragedy. I found myself feeling sorry for Cissy one minute and anger the next as she looked away from the realities of what was happening in Whitney's life. I hope what parents get out of this book is to accept their children as they are and not judge. I think Whitney struggled her whole life not being able to live her true self. I hope she has found her happiness.
It's now 2018 and I recently came across and watched the documentary movie, "Whitney," which I think was produced by her brother's wife, Pat. I knew Whitney was very talented back in the day, but since watching the documentary I've watched several of her videos and I now think she was the best pop singer there has ever been. Completely gifted, and a master entertainer. And I say this as a 30-year professional musician.I've been trying to figure out "what went wrong" with Whitney, so recently read Cissy's book. From what I've learned from various sources, here's my take. FYI, I'm not going to try and be that politically correct, but just tell it the way I see it.The Houston's were from Newark, New Jersey, and though they moved to a nicer area a little way from Newark when Whitney was relatively young, Whitney and her two older brothers (who had lived longer in the poor area when young), were highly influenced by that side of town. As Cissy relates, despite the fact that Whitney was not in that environment that long, she still thought she was from "the bricks" (slang for the projects, or "the 'hood"). She looked up to her brothers, who were both even more influenced by that side of town.To me, this helps explain how she could have been attracted to a low life like Bobby Brown, who was also from the projects of Boston. Granted, when people talk about him they invariably say he was not the one who introduced her to drugs; that it was her brothers Michael and Gary. But however one defines "love," Bobby was in no way equipped to care for Whitney. No loving husband would screw some young babe in a hotel; spray paint scary graffiti faces on the walls of their million dollar house (while their child tries to understand); go to jail on a DWI; spit in his wife's face (in front of their child); go on a "Humpin' Around" concert tour, etc.Whitney could have had any man she wanted, yet she was "crazy in love" with this crude, totally uncultured piece of trash.Cissy kept reiterating how she "had no choice" but to go on the road, leaving her kids with neighbors in the 'hood. Well, I don't want to judge her, but one ramification of that decision was Whitney didn't have her mother around much during some of her most impressionable years. Instead, she'd come home from school to be with her father and her two brothers who, again, were more formed by the 'hood life than she was. She undoubtedly got a large dose of their young libidos and language, which help form the prism that she saw the world through. I've found no evidence that she ever read another book after high school or that either of her parents encouraged her to develop her mind any more than the minimum required to graduate. Instead it seems she came from a culture of TV and commercial consumption, like so many poor Americans. It's incredible how someone who was so gifted in one area of her life could be so ill equipped in others.It's also interesting to note that Cissy never disclosed her infidelity with the minister at their church, New Hope Baptist Church, which was revealed in the recent documentary. In that narrative it was suggested that one of the reasons Whitney moved out when she was 18 was because of the disgust she felt at her mother for betraying her father (who had tapped their phones to discover the deceit). It's telling that, toward the end of the book, Cissy questions whether her daughter did, in fact, love her. I'm guessing the guilt she felt over being discovered in her adultery (and with the church pastor no less), still haunted her.Cissy also mentions that before Whitney made her last album that she was actually considering escaping with her daughter to a tropical beach to set up a fruit juice stand. As odd as this may seem, I believe if she'd done so, the two of them could well be alive and happy today.Instead, unfortunately, Clive Davis managed to convince her that she still had to give more of "her gift" (voice and celebrity). Well, it may have made a few more dollars for Impresario Davis, but it ended up killing the "golden goose." Shame on C.D. and anyone else who didn't support her decision to walk away from the totally unhealthy fame business and explore completely new sides of herself. Though apparently she had burned through a lot of her fortune, I bet she still had enough to try a simple life in the tropics.Last, though she grew up imbued in "the lord" and the Baptist church, her belief could not help her in the end. Sorry folks, but religion is not real and despite her fervent prayers, no one was listening. In her early career it was nice to hear her tell interviewers that she felt a duty to share her "gift" with the world, since it made her sound humble and not conceited. But in fact, she simply had lucky genes and was also lucky to have a mother and relatives as role models and teachers. The tragedy of her life confirms that there is no god. Parents of children with cancer pray their asses off. "God" could care less.
I really enjoyed the first half of the book .... I loved all of the references to history and learning how the grandmother and her people grew up, etc. I was so inspired by Whitney and have probably played "The Preacher's Wife" at least once or twice a month to relax, since it first came out on VHS. I decided to read this book after all that is unfolding of late (February 2015). The later half of the book was heartbreaking, but not because of what I was reading about, but more for the fact that it was placed in a public book to be read by the public in the first place. I refuse to go on in a manner that stands in judgment here, as I have never walked in Cissy Houston's shoes and cannot say what I would or would not do if I were in her situation.My take-away from this book, is to never take anything for granted. To always search myself -- whether happy, angry, frustrated, whatever, and make sure, that before I leave a conversation or encounter, that I can be comfortable walking away if this were my last opportunity to engage with this individual. What I say later or write later -- after they have passed, is not something that will change past history. This book was helpful to me, and I did enjoy the photos throughout.
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